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Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Cosplay as a topic

I find this hard to say.... and my usage of certain words drives my lunch up my gullet... but i will swallow it an just say what's on my mind.

I count... one. person that thinks of cosplay in a bad light. not the relation to sex or weird shit, but because he thinks it's an ugly art. Basically loserish. Eventhough I've tried to explain what it is and what it means to me, he still thinks I'm in a phase that I'll naturally grow out of. Even after this long! I don't know how he thinks... Have I not at least proven something to him? not that I feel a need to, but I just think that what I have been doing should speak for itself.. I love what I love, not because it's a trend or a fad... How can someone be a loser for doing something they feel strongly for?

I don't have a large social circle. It's very small. I don't even know what some of them think of cosplay because it never came up in conversation (granted I don't have much of that), which I feel blessed for. Ah, sensible people. I understand that social standing is something that affects quality of life, but that just isn't something I can strive for, nor do I care much for. Heck I can't even socialize with the friends I do have as freely as I want. But I make do. Most of my circle is however, made up of cosplay relations. But that's just it... if they truly are in my circle, then the cosplay relation doesn't matter, because people are people. The people within my reach are friends, before they are cosplay buddies. If cosplay should be an identity, then it is only used in media, which is full of crap anyway. Some people speak the term as if it's a different species... It's quite tempting to accept it as so. From the start, I have never seen much distinction between the hobby and "reality" as people put it. From the get-go it just made sense to me, it's just a name for something that exists in common sense.

Without cosplay, I would have been so, so empty because I don't know if I would have found something that was mine, and mine alone, to fight for, my own way. I'm not a camwhore. I'm not pretty. I'm only a decent costume maker. I'm not an outgoing person who revels in social environment. And even after so long in the community, I still see the happenings and little dramas from the other side of the glass window. Actually, I don't even know what to register as drama. All I see is people, barking. And then when it comes to events, these very people are much more well-behaved. So I never understood the big deal. All the people I've met are nice, with a margin of error for eccentricities, but they are just people.

My cosplay doesn't need to be defined. It's a flame. Some form of energy I feed off. I pay tribute to series I like coincidentally have fun doing it, occasionally do things I can be proud of, and meet good, honourable people along the way. Plus I have such a strong AT field and I'm completely aware that people who throw negative terms along at me just for the sake of proving they have a bloody opinion are just so damn invalid. I do hear people speaking out loud as we pass by but it has never bothered me... I wonder how I can be like this, yet have social anxiety. haha~

This is not my complete thoughts, of course, because some things just exist outside the realm of words and that's when you can just look at someone who understands, and nod in unison.

Labels: ,

Time Recorded: 12:24 PM


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